One dedicated tortoise attempted the “world’s slowest escape” south of Denver in August, making a break from his Littleton home, sheriff’s officials said.
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A Jefferson County animal control officer responded to reports of a wandering tortoise in Littleton on Aug. 31, the sheriff’s office wrote on social media. When he arrived, he found a woman struggling with the reptile — a nearly 100-pound Sulcata tortoise named Lard — in the middle of the street, body-worn camera video of the escapee appears to show.
“After escaping a fenced yard, Lard headed out for a neighborhood adventure,” the sheriff’s office wrote in the post. “Efforts to negotiate a voluntary return were unsuccessful. Home was in one direction. Lard preferred the other.”
Together, the animal control officer and a friendly bystander hoisted up the heavy tortoise and carried him home.
“What are you eating?” one of the men carrying the tortoise can be heard asking the reptile in the body-worn camera video released by the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office.
“Everything,” the other man replies. “He’s been eating since we got here.”
The video appears to show the men safely returning Lard home.
SUSPECT ATTEMPTS WORLD’S SLOWEST ESCAPE 🐢
On August 31, Animal Control Officer McMullen responded to a report of a wandering tortoise in Littleton.
Meet Lard: a Sulcata tortoise weighing just shy of 100 pounds, with big travel plans and absolutely no sense of urgency.
After… pic.twitter.com/mVexKeaHzx
— Jeffco Sheriff (@jeffcosheriffco) September 25, 2026
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